Helen, 59
Straightforward, loyal, fun
“ I believe I have a duty to myself, to keep myself educated and relevant in the market.”
✨ Twinsight: As the working population ages, we see a pattern emerging in our stories: those aged 50 and above are often left feeling undervalued, redundant and old. So the result is to see many mature workers choose to embark on a path of reinvention in order to reclaim their sense of purpose and impact. One inspiring example is Helen, who discovered a passion for helping others, pursuing it through retraining and plain hard work!
Here is our twinquiry……While it's a commendable feat, it raises important questions about our society's treatment of older workers. Why must individuals feel compelled to reinvent themselves in order to feel valued? What can we do to shift the narrative and create a culture that truly values and respects the contributions of all individuals, regardless of their age? These are vital questions that demand thoughtful consideration and action. Let’s keep this conversation going.
I am 59 in just one month. I started work at 18, fresh out of high school and studied part time to gain knowledge about Marketing, Communications and PR.
After a successful career in professional and financial services, managing large teams, I felt old and redundant. The people I was hiring were in their 20s and 30s and while I was only early 50s, I felt I needed to be able to offer something new so I retrained. I studied coaching and behavioural change, opened my own coaching business and I now work for a company that I feel really appreciates my life experience. I run leadership and management training and coach and mentor executives through their daily challenges. My clients say that my coaching sometimes feels like therapy as I encourage them to dig deep and dare to make lasting change.
Just yesterday, I reminded myself that I couldn’t do what I do today if it weren’t for my masters degree, my renewed confidence (as the menopause can beat that out of you), work and life experience. I love what I do and I feel that the actions that I take everyday may just be leaving the world in a slightly better place.
I would love to share my experience as life definitely begins after 55.
How old are you and how are you feeling about that?
A: I'll be 59 on 25 May 2023. I'm more at ease with myself than I have ever been in my life. The big 60 seems quite scary but just because it seems a very big number.
I look after myself, and many of my younger friends tell me that I don't look my age and I'm not ready to embrace being grey as I feel too young to look older.
Three words that describe you.
A: Straightforward, loyal, fun
What’s the worst part about aging and what’s the best?
A: Worst: I have aches in places, I never did before. Best: I have more confidence than I have ever had and I have become a diplomat i.e. my idea of one. 'I can send someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.'
What’s the one life lesson that you wish you had figured out earlier?
A: The number of times I would wake up fretting about something I had said in a meeting and what other people may be thinking, I wish I could have told myself to breathe and take the subjective emotion out of my mind and ask myself objectively; who said what? what did I say?, what could I have done differently in the situation?, so that I could learn from what I had done and move on, and get some well-deserved sleep. People aren't generally thinking, what we would like to think they are thinking. They have moved on, while we are still worrying.
Proudest accomplishment?
A: I have two.
At work - 12 years ago I established a Foundation for Deloitte in the Netherlands (The Fair Chance Foundation) to ensure that every school-going child is given a fair chance in life, no matter what background they have. It continues today as the Impact Foundation.
Personally - I am proud of finishing my MSc Coaching & Behavioural Change (3-years of part-time study) in 2018 at the age of 54, starting my own coaching business and working for amazing companies today. We can do anything we put our minds to.
Have you experienced ageism?
A: Yes, I have. A more junior person in the team was offered a global role purely because she was based in the US, whilst it was a global role and could have been done far more effectively from the UK. I didn't fight it, I took redundancy and the company ended up having to pay more because of my age. I used the money and that 'gap' year to write my thesis.
What’s your message to the world?
A: Let's try to leave the people we interact with, in a better place than we found them, no matter how old they are. We can do this by sharing advice, words of wisdom, knowledge, and guidance and without enforcing our old ideals onto them. And, be open to reverse mentoring.
Favorite band, book or artist?
A: The Chimp Paradox (Prof Steve Peters). The Mind Management Programme for Confidence, Success and Happiness. I often recommend this book to clients.
What sparks your joy these days?
A: My work. I love interacting with people and coaching them through their daily challenges at work.
What’s next for you? What does your future self look like?
A: I will continue coaching, until I am no longer relevant or I've lost my marbles.
I believe that I have a duty to myself, to keep myself educated and relevant in the market.
Are there traditions in your culture related to aging that you would like to share?
A: I was born in Scotland (UK), grew up in South Africa (from the age of 8), and lived in the Netherlands and Hong Kong, before returning to the UK 9 years ago.
There are no traditions I am aware of but I do advise others and myself to 'be kind' to yourself'.
Do you feel visible?
A: Since retraining as a coach, I do feel visible. I have a lot of experience to share and stories to tell and I can support my clients as a mentor and a coach.
When I was working in corporate life, in my forties and early fifties, I was hiring numbers of much younger people and I did start to question whether I was adding enough value to the company. This could have been a combination of menopause and imposter syndrome and I would question if these feelings were even real or fictional situations that I had imagined in my mind. I would almost like to question if the way we act, gets reflected back at us. If we act 'old' or 'invisible', are we perceived as such?
Are there things you are doing now that you couldn’t do before?
A: My public speaking has improved immensely over the years. I can laugh at myself and not take myself too seriously. I have more freedom and independence to choose where and who I spend my time with. I have a job that allows me to work from home and that 'home' can be almost anywhere.
Connect with helen on LinkedIn, Instagram or at her website